That Damn Ad

There is a large group of Mac fans that remain constantly befuddled as to why Apple doesn’t advertise the Mac on TV. The days of wondering why stockpiles of cash remain unspent while the public remains largely unaware that Apple makes nifty computers in addition to the ubiquitous iPod are now, officially, over. The reason, which is obvious in light of Apple’s new TV ad, (which only nominally promotes the Mac) Apple hadn’t been pushing the Mac on TV is because they clearly have no idea what makes the Mac special.

Before discussing the deficiencies and strengths of Apple’s long awaited TV ad for Macs the controversy surrounding the originality of the spot should be examined. The trouble stems from a video made by The Postal Service for their song Such Great heights. Yes, the Apple advertisement does bear a striking resemblance to the video. It is also nearly inarguable that the Apple spot is, at the least, derivative of the video. Temper these realizations with the fact that The Postal Service is getting a lot of ink and pixels due to all the controversy and realize that this is actually a huge win for the band.

With the controversy noted and dismissed, we can turn our attention to the more pressing matter of the thirty seconds of advertising ineptitude that comprises the new Mac television ad. There are four things the commercial is telling us and all of them are mistakes. If you need to acquaint yourself with the ad, take a look. For the link averse, the voiceover is as follows:

”The Intel Chip. For years, it’s been trapped inside PCs, inside dull little boxes dutifully performing dull little tasks when it could have been doing so much more. Starting today, the Intel chip will be set free and get to live inside a Mac. Imagine the possibilities.”

The first thing we note is that Windows users have been buying “dull little boxes” to perform “dull little tasks.” With that line Apple has not only denigrated the Windows world but has also managed to reduce anything a Windows user could possibly be doing on a computer to a “dull little task.” Calling the people you’re trying to convert to a Mac “dull” probably isn’t the best way to garner goodwill. Apple made the same mistake when they ran the Lemmings SuperBowl commercial in 1985.

The other problem is that by telling people that they’ve been doing dull little tasks you’re telling them that the Mac is capable of so much more than their mundane duties. It seems like a smart message, after all, who doesn’t want a computer that can do more than the competition? The truth is most people don’t want a computer that can do more, they want a computer that can do their “dull tasks” more easily. Where is the motivation to buy a Mac for someone who just surfs the ‘net, manages digital photos, and sends e-mails? Those are all fairly dull tasks after all.

The ad is also telling people that currently use Macs they are fairly dense as well. All this time you’ve been using a substandard chip, and you didn’t even know it. This is reminiscent of the early Hardee’s thick burger campaign (west coasters should substitute the name “Carl Jrs” when they see “Hardees"). Right now Hardees may be pushing their grease laden, heart clogging foodstuffs with annoying “Cheese Paper” ads or with titillation but when the campaign first began they started by telling their current clientele they had absolutely no taste in food.

For those that don’t remember the early Hardee’s ads, the commercials consisted of black and white interview type film with very jerky camera movements. The CEO of Hardees or perhaps the beef supplier would sit and tell the viewers how awful the previous incarnation of Hardees’ burgers were and how the new ones were infinitely better. It was tantamount to telling any current customers of Hardees that they had spent the last few years paying good money for food made entirely from downer cattle. Apple is sending Mac users, at least those without the latest iMac, the same message. My G5 wishes to thank you, Apple. Still, this may be the canniest part of the ad, now the vast majority of Mac users will feel that their machines are substandard and rush to buy a Mac with an acceptable chip.

All the previous complaints are petty and inconsequential when compared to the ads biggest transgression: reducing the Mac to a pretty box and a processor. The chip, we are solemnly told, “Will get to live inside a Mac.” Why there is no doubt that Mac’s feature spiffy industrial design the notion that an Intel chip just sitting in a pretty box makes the machine more desirable is ludicrous. It was a perfect chance for the copywriter to write “Starting today the Intel chip will get to power the most advanced operating system on earth: OS X.” The iMac on the screen would have made the point that Mac’s feature non-dull boxes.

When it is all said and done it probably doesn’t matter too much. Computers aren’t something people buy on impulse (the moments following a MacWorld keynote excepted) and even the deftest commercial won’t suddenly flip the market share numbers to Apple’s favor. In this case, all the people, including myself, yearning for Apple to promote the Mac in prime time media probably should have remembered the old adage: Be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it.