The Apple Store - No Place for Kids

If you’re like me - a father of three who lives in the suburbs and wonders how the heck he got to be 41 without running with the bulls or watching the sunrise over the Serengeti - you tend to separate the world into ‘child friendly’ and ‘not child friendly.’

In the first category goes Chuck E Cheese, the Disney Store and the playground. In the second goes pretty much anywhere I can go and cuss without my wife giving me the ‘gee thanks for teaching the boy how to say ....’ look.

So where does the Apple Store fall into this continuum? Gather round....

A Sunday afternoon in January. Just me and the daughters since my wife took my son to a play-date. With nothing in particular on the agenda, I took my twin princesses (Princess 1 and Princess 2) to The Westchester (A.K.A. “the ultimate shopping experience"). to see what entertainment and educational value the Apple Store could provide the average precocious three year old.

And if we get to spend some time at the iPod petting zoo, so much the better for Daddy.

Once we safely maneuvered the parking and made our way to Shopping Level Two and after a minor detour to the Disney Store, we made our way into the Kubrikian spaces of the Westchester Apple Store.

We pushed our way past the illogically placed check out counter and the even less logically placed display counters until we came to The Table. Every larger Apple Store has The Table. It’s the kindergarten height round table with six or eight iMacs and low comfy seats. All the iMacs come loaded with the latest in licensed character educational software.

Except at this particular location, only half were occupied by children. The other half by grown-ups (waiting for their appointment at the Genius Bar I suppose).

So we pushed our way past the Studio counter, around the bend and over the river until we came to the Wall Of Software. Every Apple Store has a Wall Of Software. And at most one and a half shelves of each Wall Of Software is dedicated to the younger set. And at this Apple Store amidst mulitple copies of Final Cut Pro, I found one Dora, a couple of Increadibles, a KidPix and something with a phrase in the title that would make my six year old son crack up but is supposed to teach him something or other about math.

At this point, the crowds and the noise and lack of lunch moved Princess 2 to sit down on the floor and shout “I’m hungry.” So no iPod petting zoo for Daddy.

There’s been a lot of discussion lately about the quality and general attitude of the staff at the Apple Stores. You could argue (and I might agree) that the Apple Store doesn’t have to cater to all ages, or even be remotely child friendly. On the other hand, Apple is putting these stores in suburban shopping malls - who do they think shops in White Plains? Urban hipsters?

Here’s a tip folks, get some more kids games - I know they are out there. If you only stock one shelf and most of them only run under Classic anyway, why bother at all?

How about some classes? I’d rather my son learn Ruby on Rails before he learns a useless foreign language, so why not have some in-store classes targeting the 6-10 year old crowd? Use iWeb to make your first web site. His school is full of eMacs - there’s an eMac for every student, teacher, cafeteria lady and playground monitor… do you think there’s an opportunity for a little cross promotion here?

The Apple Store doesn’t have to be the Disney Store. But it doesn’t have to be Banana Republic either. And while we’re at it… tell those grown-ups to get out of the kid seats.