From the “I Can’t Make This $%&! Up Files” Comes My Latest Adventure In Customer Service

by James R. Stoup
Jul 16, 2007

Here is the setup: I recently bought a fan from Target. It wasn’t anything special mind you, just an 8” fan that would sit on a table. Oh, and it cost me about $10. Keep that fact in mind as it will be important later.

Ok, now, this particular fan was defective. When you turned it on it wouldn’t run properly. We noticed this about a week after buying it. Needless to say it was promptly returned. Now, here is where I made a mistake. Instead of taking the refund I asked for a new fan. So, I go home, open up my new fan, plug it in and . . . it doesn’t work. At. All.

Yeah, I was somewhat pissed now. So, my wife emails customer support at Honeywell (the makers of this fan) and complains about the crap they are packaging up and calling fans. Now, as good as this story is, it gets better. You see, my wife got an email back! Here is said email:

From: Kaz
To: Mags
Date: Mon, 16 Jul 2007 10:40:55 -0500
Subject: Re: Honeywell Fan (KMM363991V98731L0KM)
Dear Maggie
Thank you for your recent email.

Email:
Phone: 800-477-0457
Web:  http://www.kaz.com
Mail:  Consumer Relations Department
Kaz Incorporated
250 Turnpike Road
Southboro, MA 01772

Where to begin? Well, let’s start at the top and go from there.

This item is actually the most popular fan we have ever made and there are
millions of them in successful operation throughout the US and Canada.
And I give a damn why? Do you really think letting me know that everyone else in North America has a fan makes me feel better at all? Isn’t that like going to the doctor, finding out you have cancer and having him console you with “hey, on the bright side though there are plenty of people out there who don’t have cancer!” Um, ok? Why are you telling me this? Why do I care?

If you’d like you can send the cord back to me and I can send you a
brand new unit out of our warehouse.
Hey, how nice of them, they are going to sen- . . . wait what? Did they just tell me to send them the cord? Um guys, the cord doesn’t exactly detach.

Please make sure the unit is unplugged and use some scissors to
cut the power cord off of it.
I . . . see . . .
You want me to cut the power cord? That better be a freaking sharp pair of scissors. But once I get done with that, at least I know they will pay for the mailing cost, right?

You are responsible for the shipping charges to mail this to us but it
should be less than $1 if you just use a bubble mailer. I recommend
sending it using the most inexpensive method possible, just be sure to
have some form of tracking or delivery confirmation.
So, you actually want me to pay to mail your defective product back to you? I’ve got two words for you.
Bite. Me.

Kaz is committed to offering quality customer service.  Please don’t
hesitate to contact us again if you require further assistance.
My dear, I am afraid I will do more than just hesitate to contact you again. If this is what passes for customer service please count me out. I can mutilate my own appliances and then burn my own money all by myself. Your assistance isn’t required. But thanks.

So, why don’t we review the situation? On one hand I could chop my fan in to pieces, pay to mail one of those pieces across country and then hope they actually get it and send me a new fan. Or, I could just take the fan back to Target and never again purchase a Honeywell fan again. And did I mention that this fan only cost $10? What, oh what, should I do? (oh, it should be noted that if I cut off the cord and they don’t send me a new fan, good luck explaining to Target why the fan is missing a cord)

The fan was returned to Target this morning.

Customer service can take your breath away. Sometimes its because its so good (like fresh cut roses) and sometimes because its so bad (like swift kick in the balls). Guess which one I’m going with?

Comments

1. Aw Come On James,

   Anyone mention meditation or prozac to you? It’s just a $10 fan. What gives with the conniption you’re having?

   Target has great customer srvc. Something breaks. You bring it back. They give you cash or replace it. What’s not to like?

   Here’s how to handle broken things at places that liberally accept returns:

   Simple break or it just sucks - See 2nd paragraph (above)…

   Complex situation (You’ve had it for 10 months [1 yr warranty] -
   - Go to store and buy the same (new) thingamajig. Keep receipt.
   - Open box. Remove new thingamagig.
   - Clean old, broken thang. Insert in new box. Pack nicely.
   - Return w/ receipt and say it was DOA.
   - Voila! Enjoy the $$$ and low blood pressure.

   Regards,

   Your family should thank me.

   I believe you’ll live to a ripe old age, now.

   By on 2007 07 16

2. Why cut the cord? That is a brain-dead policy.  The company needs to know which product run this came from and track back to find why things are not working. Instead they blamed the reseller for mishandling the product.

   The company should be sending out a replacement unit and a postage-paid return for the defective one.

   By Robert Pritchett on 2007 07 16

3. Cutting the cord proves that you have the fan and that you won’t end up with two working fans.

   By Devanshu Mehta on 2007 07 16

4. @starman4

   I’m not upset at Target at all. Its not their fault that two of these fans are junk. What makes me mad is this insane return policy. First they blame Target (because of course its not their fault), then they as me to cut up my fan and mail it to them (at my expense) and I’m suppose to wait for a new fan to arrive “sometime in the future.” Oh, and be sure to get a tracking number (as she mentioned) because if the cord is lost in the mail then I’m SOL.

   Is this their idea of good customer service? Really? I don’t think so.

   By on 2007 07 16

5. Sorry James, but you’re wasting your time. Return the damn fan to Target. Get a refund AND/or a new fan.

   It’s Target’s problem, not yours. I’m a former Customer Service Manager and I can tell you that many resellers receive bad product due to poor handling. Either from shippers or careless S/R personnel. We simply refunded the customer, occasionally gave them a free or reduced price unit and were done with the problem. Whatever it takes to make the customer happy.

   By on 2007 07 16

6. BTW, why did you find it necessary to include Jessica’s direct mail address? You wouldn’t want someone to mail her nasty mail, now would you? I see you didn’t include your own address/info.

   By on 2007 07 16

7. Seems like a pretty innocuous situation. If this is anywhere close to the worst C/R experience you’ve had, you are very, very lucky.

   By Scott_R on 2007 07 17

8. Sometimes people can be fickle towards one another, bad customer service is rampant...I was playing a game on GSN.com and saw a video clip of a new show called “Without Prejudice?” It showed a panel of five people making comments about other people just based on outward appearances/first impressions.  For example, one panelist who’s a minority himself says “I don’t like him because he’s black.” I can’t believe this is a show!  I’m not sure how it works yet, but I’d like to see.  Tune in Tuesdays at @ 9pm.  Should be a good one.

   By on 2007 07 18

9. My favorite is how they tell you they’re committed to customer service right after they tell you that YOU are responsible for shipping their busted-ass product.

   Btw, I will buy no other fan than the Vornado. It’s expensive but there simply is nothing better.

   As for one company passing the blame to another company, well, that’s not so unusual, is it.

   By on 2007 07 20

10. What the hell? 

    Target will accept the return. Kaz will accept the return if you send proof of the defective purchase (the cord).

    You get mad that you call the fan a piece of crap in an email to support and the manufacturer says, “There are a million satisfied consumers who would disagree” as a way to demonstrate that you may have just gotten unlucky with a couple of defects.
    
    This is not bad customer service. Companies like this have scammers trying to get free product from them all the time. They are just protecting themselves with what are basically reasonable return policies.

    Do you really think the response was that unreasonable?

    I think you’re getting stressed out over something fairly minor.

    By vb_baysider on 2007 07 20

11. I loooove Target, but I have had problems with their return policy in the past.  It’s almost quicker if you go straight to the manufacturer.

    That show “without prejudice” sounds interesting.  I will definitely tune in to watch the fights that come up with those touchy subjects.

    By on 2007 07 21

12. It’s Target’s problem, not yours. I’m a former Customer Service Manager and I can tell you that many resellers receive bad product due to poor handling. Either from shippers or careless S/R personnel. We simply refunded the customer, occasionally gave them a free or reduced price unit and were done with the problem. Whatever it takes to make the customer happy.

    By iddaa on 2007 07 22

13. You got a reply from customer service!?

    By Neil Anderson on 2007 07 24

14. This sounded kinda crazy (cutting the cord), until you realize it’s for proof of product.

    It’s actually pretty slick, since what is almost always the case is that you need to return the entire unit. 

    I love it.  They probably got the idea from book stores that rip off the covers to return to the publisher, rather than shipping the entire unsold book back.

    Also, you can return the fan to Target, get a working one, cut off it’s cord, return it for another working one, and buy a new cord at a hardware store.  Get’s you 2 fans for $12, rather than one for $10.

    So WTF are you complaining about?  That you bought a dirt cheap fan at a dirt cheap store, and you’re surprised that the quality control isn’t up to par with a decent fan from a decent store at a decent price?

    And on top of this, you get _customer service_ to respond on a $10 product, costing them probably their entire profit margin in the time paid to the person to reply to you?  Not only that, but you get a really cool, cheap alternative solution if the store won’t accept a return.

    Definately a “I can’t make this .... up file” moment, but I think it goes into Jessica Goncalves ‘ files, not yours.

    By on 2007 09 12

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