Running from the Pres in Tennessee

by Chris Seibold Oct 20, 2006

At SpinMatters HQ, in lovely downtown Wartburg, TN we are fortunate to get the occasional mail service. The ancient, dented, half rust/half bailing wire mail truck crawls over the winding roads studded with foot deep potholes once or twice a week, the infrequency means the days the mail shows up are more exciting than wash day.Today’s post brought the following bit of glossy campaign literature:

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We’re more fans of the process than actual candidates but the front page grabbed our collective attention. Could this finally be an example of an attempt to play off the ever-growing antipathy for the President? Has Harold Ford put together a stunningly effective mass mailing? All signs point to yes. Or rather, the signs did point to “yes” until the pamphlet was opened and we saw the following:

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Turns out it wasn’t Harold Ford trying to tie Bob Corker to the President, rather it was Bob Corker trying to distance himself from the administration. Savvy move on Corkers part. Taking a careful look at the text we note the general tone of self congratulation on turning Chatanooga from an ever increasing sink hole of debt to a break even place with the lowest taxes since Fred Flinstone walked the planet. The general kind of stuff one would expect to find in a campaign flyer. Oddly, there is absolutely no mention of Bob Corker’s party affiliation. It must play big on the next page…

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But it doesn’t. Here we are treated to such dangerous stands as being for more good paying jobs. Which takes a bit of courage, ask yourself how many times you’ve gone to work thinking:

“I have a crappy paying job, I sure wouldn’t want one that pays more!”

Bob Corker is also for protecting families from terrorism. That’s a relief, terrorists have gotten so refined in their techniques that they don’t even bother to target single people. He’s also against illegal immigration. Can someone really get elected with bold stands such as these? Bob isn’t done rattling the cage of the status quo, turns out Bob wants to improve healthcare affordability and availability. He also likes puppies (lower right).

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We just Photoshopped the puppies thing in, but we bet Bob Corker is pro puppy.

Oh yeah, about that Republican Party thing, still no mention.

While it is great to promote yourself, the most effective campaigning is tearing down the other guy. Stand by for page four (undoubtabley trumpeting his Republican party affiliation). Let’s have a look:

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First thing we notice is that a relatively low res Harold Ford has one red eye and one fairly normal looking skull peeper. Surely, this is a sign of demonic possession, or worse: it means Harold Ford is a democrat. It also tells us that the designers spent a long time on every other aspect of the mailer but couldn’t be bothered to fire up iPhoto when it came to the Ford pic.

Of course it easy to mock Corker’s literature if for no other reason than we’re not on Ford’s mailing list. There is a much better than even chance that Harold Ford is sending something out just as bland. Perhaps Ford is against Child Pornography, senseless violence and hemorrhoids.

What is interesting is that we never learn that Corker is a Republican. The address area tells us (probably due to legal reasons) that the Republican Party paid for the mailer. President Bush is referred to obliquely as “the President” a single time. The casual reader would be forgiven if they think that Bob Corker isn’t quite who the current President is but is sure that whomever occupies the White House should be able to use the line item veto.

None of this would be interesting if the mailer was sent out in California, Virginia or even middle Tennessee. But this ad came to section of the country so staunchly Republican that when the rest of the south was seceding Eastern Tennessee was busily supporting Lincoln. East Tennessee is so completely republican that people here actually bleed red, well everyone bleeds red, but this blood has little tiny elephants in it. When a Senatorial candidate is running away from that legacy it says a lot about the current President.


Yes, all comments to this article count as an entry in the SpinMatters win an iPod shuffle contest.

Comments

  • He’s picking on Ford for missing a vote on methamphetamines?  That’s called “I got nothin’.”

    Beeblebrox had this to say on Oct 20, 2006 Posts: 2220
  • I concur Beeb, I mean missing a vote because you were smoking methamphetamines… that would be something!

    Chris Seibold had this to say on Oct 20, 2006 Posts: 354
  • What’s funny is that the best articulation of Corker’s “ideas” is in the little blurbs above cause gawd knows I’ve never seen him talk about ANYTHING SUBSTANTIVE in public, other than how they never intended their usurped photos of Ford to look so gawddim awful and how he thinks Ford is bad and all because he’s not a Haslum stroking symbiot….or something…..wait…i’m confused…..check one for Corker…..

    Todd M Long had this to say on Oct 20, 2006 Posts: 19
  • A nice little bit with Corket caught in…what’s the word…a LIE.

    Corker Fact Check: Stay The Course

    Beeblebrox had this to say on Oct 21, 2006 Posts: 2220
  • Playing fast and loose,
    Fact’s still as rigid as rail.
    Locomotion’s worth.

    CapnVan had this to say on Oct 21, 2006 Posts: 68
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